“Get comfortable being uncomfortable”

I saw a video just before deciding to write this where somebody shared the title above as some of the most life-changing advice they’ve ever received, and while I don’t doubt that that advice meant a lot to them and maybe changed their life for the better: I find it super important as a person with PTSD to remind myself that life is not and should not be uncomfortable MOST of the time. Like yes growing requires some discomfort but there is a difference between the discomfort that comes with growth and the discomfort that comes from moving against your intuition. 

My life and my ability to grow and to step into and be with what is for me and new levels of growth has been directly connected to my ability to stop hustling. To stop trying so hard. To slowly give up on the desire to prove myself to others with flashy outer appearances. With time I am learning that if everything in my body is screaming no maybe I shouldn’t be doing that thing. If it’s getting harder and harder instead of easier then maybe I need to let the damn thing go. Not continue pushing and struggling against my own boundaries and limitations.

Another thing I remind myself is that I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. I have always had to deal with a baseline level of absolute despair. It is how I was raised and so it is what I have created for myself up until now. Now I get to decide “I want to feel good” and follow that thread by walking alongside and toward and with what lights me up. 

I, unabashedly, choose joy.  

9⚔️Whenever I get caught up in a nine of swords type anxiety spiral, I remind myself that I choose a timeline where the worst case scenario isn’t even an option. Because 99.9% of the time the worst case doesn’t happen. The worst case scenario is always a reflection of my deepest fear. I often find that when I face the underlying fear I suddenly remember that I trust myself and that I have been through so much that whatever I am afraid of would be no match for me. I would rather walk through this life hopeful. Realistic and remembering that I deserve good things and good things happen to me.